


Wonderland

by yashirin



Series: The TS Playlist [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22631950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yashirin/pseuds/yashirin
Summary: And in the end in wonderland, they both went mad.a.k.a. what’s on Tony’s mind when they were in Siberia
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: The TS Playlist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628110
Kudos: 15





	Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, Wonderland.
> 
> You guys should try listening to it if you’re not familiar :)

Tony didn’t know when they clicked. Was it when they were repairing the Helicarrier? Or maybe when they were goofing around with Thor’s hammer? Or was it when Tony gave Steve permission to hang out in his workshop? Or, or! Or maybe… no, he really doesn’t remember.  
  


What Tony does know is that they _worked_ well together. And between the fighting alongside the Avengers and the downtime they all spent, Steve crept up on his skin. It was the feeling of something so right and so wrong; Tony didn’t know what to do with it. Tony held him tight one moment when nightmares started crawling to the soldier out of time. And Steve? Steve held Tony tighter when he’s awake.

The Avengers were what they called ‘The Dream Team’; they were the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes! And gosh, didn’t that somehow make them invincible. Even Tony with all his flaws and confidence learned to work in a team and accept there were just some things others are good at. Somebody got Tony’s back, each and every time with no hesitation. So Tony trusted with closed eyes.

For every villain they fought, in each punch and kicks they received, they managed to stand up again and again. They had times when they got stuck but they always found ways to go around the problem. They were all groveling and impatient, but gritty and determined as well. It was both exhausting and thrilling. Their lives were never worse but never better either.

Tony didn’t know why they still fought though. Was it the accumulation of things? The first was when he made a joke to let Banner get some steam off; or was it the stone that made them start shoving insults at each other. Or did they just differ on their beliefs too much? Like there was that time when they barged in and stopped Tony (and Bruce) when he had one of the best ideas to put JARVIS’s schematics to an artificial body. Oh, and add in this one about the Accords. This one is really pushing them to the edge.

But even with all that happened, Tony, to his surprise, managed to keep the team. To eat his pride and be wrong, even though he knows he’s right - he ran the numbers. And somehow, they both kept the team together.

_Now_ , even though Tony doesn’t fully understand why Cap is willing to risk everything they ever built just to save Barnes, he’s willing to try to see to it - to risk everything with him.

For the Avengers.

For friendship.

For him.

The three of them were on a mission. They’re steady but cautious. They are fully prepared for what's coming. Ready to fight as they can. Ready for the incoming pain they’ll try to bear.

Zemo wanted them here. In this rabbit hole where it’s dark and quiet. And with every step, with every clanks of metal, they see the timid lights. Guards up, they feel as if there’s someone watching their every move. Zemo starts talking too much for Tony’s liking. There shouldn’t be someone to _out-talk_ him this much. Oh, and to their surprise, the other super soldiers are dead. Yay?

A shadow on the door gets Tony’s hand rising while Steve launches his shield towards it. _Zemo_. Finally he shows himself. He and Steve talk, whispering and trying to gauge each others’ motive.

“You lost someone.” Tony hears Steve say.

A pause and a click of tongue.

“I lost everyone,” Zemo breathes, “and so will you.”

An outdated monitor flickers to life, and curiously the three of them stalk it. Tony tries not to be stunned at what he sees, instead he inhales sharply, “I know that road.” He even knows that date. It’s etched onto his memory, unforgettable, as a bitter reminder of what he lost.

“What is this?” Tony still asks, hoping that whatever _this_ is may not be that same day and place.

Tony can’t seem to look anywhere else but the screen. First the car crash then followed by a motorcycle. His father crawls to the ground as the other man gets off his vehicle. 

“Sergeant Barnes,” his father mouths.

Anger is starting to fill him, heart pounding onto his chest. His head turns to Barnes, calculating. But like a moth drawn to the flame, Tony watches more.

Tony has seen all the gore, even those done to him in Afghanistan. Yet nothing prepared him for what he’s seeing. Tony shakes as if he’s the one being hit. Each hit rattles him. He breathes heavily like his beloved mom struggles for breath. Each intake of air trying to prepare him of what he’s about to witness. He knows how this ends. He lived his life knowing how his parents' lives ended. It was supposed to be a car crash. Not like this. Not his father grovelling to the ground and knowing his killer. Not his mother hearing how his father got punched until he dies. His mother, who was choked coldly to death. They weren’t even given the chance to fight for their lives. They were unmatched to him, to this soldier, to Bucky Barnes.

To this man in front of him.

Tony moves, ready to hit Barnes but as quickly as he did, so does Steve.

A hand on his arm, “Tony.”

Tony contemplates, pursing his lips as the weight of what was revealed to him sinks in.

“Did you know?” He whispers, asking and looking straight at Steve’s eyes searching.

A pause. “I didn’t know it was him.”

A snap. “Don’t bullshit me Rogers.” He grits his teeth to ask again, “Did you know?”

“Yes.”

There’s ringing to Tony’s ears.

And Tony puts on his mask.

Did Steve even plan to tell him?

This was supposed to be like before. They’ll bicker. They’ll fight. They’ll have each others’ back. They’ll smile. They always come through.

Tony feels like screaming. He wants to claw out his own skin. He feels nothing but hatred. Anger. Vengeful.

Oh, this is too funny.

Why is Tony the bad guy again? Is it because he’s against _the_ Captain America? Tony should calm down, but he is still seeing red.

“I don’t care, he killed my mom.” Tony spats at Steve.

Haven’t Tony lost enough? Wasn’t Tony betrayed enough?

A punch to Steve’s face reminded him of that reality. Steve’s smile _was_ warm. He disgustingly remembers his proud smile when he actually gets those pop culture jokes. His shy smile when he says something ancient and Tony teases. His side smile when he sees Tony eating what he prepared. Steve’s goddamned smile looks like a Cheshire Cat’s grin now. 

Cunning.

Pitying.

Merciless in Tony’s eyes.

Steve’s arm wraps around him. With purpose, he tries to stop Tony. He tries to hurt Tony.

This has always been how it is. Everybody’s on Tony’s side at the start. It’s all fun and games when Tony has something to give. But when Tony speaks of things he knows better, they run. He's losing his mind.

He’s the crazy one.

He’s the Merchant of Death.

He’s wrong.

He’s Tony Stark.

For some fleeting moments, Tony pretended the Avengers could last forever. Tony thought they were going to get out of this place together. Tony thought they’d have bruises and cuts, maybe broken bones from whatever fight they might take against the super soldiers and Zemo. Tony had multiple plans for the world. With the team. He was way over himself. Oh, just how did Tony forget how cruel the world is to him.

“He’s my friend.”

Steve is out of his reach. He’s gone. He searched for something else. And found it.

“So was I.”

In the end, Tony is left with only the broken shield as his companion.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stony fanfic. So im sorry if im late in the ship and dont portray them that well orz 
> 
> This is the start of a 10-11 series of fics :) This would be Stuckony because I want them to be happy that way.


End file.
